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  • Hearts in the Right Place asked:
    What do I do if I go on date and there's no chemistry? How do I let the person down?
    • DatingAgent replied:
      The question of dating chemistry is as complicated and complex as the many answers around it. Some industry professionals would tell you that it is absolutely mandatory to feel that quiver on the first date. Some would tell you to look at arranged marriages and how time and common interests can create chemistry down the road. I can tell you that, the butterflies I felt on the first day I saw my man and the ones I get when I see him now, after five years being together, are the same. Personally, I don't feel chemistry fades if its truly the one who is meant for you (my Great Aunt and Uncle who are still madly in love after 60+ years of marriage would concur), but here's some questions you might ask yourself before completely dismissing the person and missing out on a chance of being with someone who is meant for you: "Did I enjoy their company"? "Is this someone that fits in with my lifestyle"? "Would I want this person as a friend"? If the answer is "yes" to any of the above, it might be worth giving it a second, and even third chance. First dates can be unnerving for some people and they may not always show up in the best light. You may find they start to grow on you as time goes on, especially if its someone you initially thought you might be attracted to either by seeing a picture on-line or meeting them briefly in a public place. If you are absolutely sure the person is not for you, I always believe that honesty is the best policy. A simple "you seem like a nice person but I feel we don't have any chemistry, good luck with your search" will do. You don't want to hurt the other person's feelings by saying something like "I just don't find you attractive". That may be the case but it will leave the person feeling like the ugly duckling and attraction is completely subjective. Besides, if you leave on good terms you never know, that person might have a single friend who is a better fit for you. I often turned my on-line date fails into fix-ups for my friends, but then....I am a matchmaker.